It was the night of a wedding when my father suggested me to find my bride by myself and not to be dependent on them for my wedding in future. I was just 14 years old and started to dream of a girl with whom I could spend my life with. Days passed and I was connected to an all-new platform called “Facebook”, I haven’t earlier taken this platform seriously and was interested in hacking other people’s account for fun on this. But one day this girl who was the sister of one of my relative sent me a friend request, I was intrigued as I have heard about her earlier, I visited her profile and try to find a picture of her but couldn’t find one till then.
social meeting
We were connected and now we started chatting, I said Hi! she said Hi!, we talked about our relative connection, how we have heard about each other from them, then we started chatting every day, she would ask about my well being and i would ask about her, we would discuss the activities we have done in the day, she would tell me about her friends and everything, the usual conversation that a girl and boy have when they are so innocent. I was just 14 and she was 15, this was new to both of us, we haven’t thought about anything for the future and we continued chatting with each other online and we would talk for hours online, I was becoming an expert in typing messages on the phone, she sent me her picture and there she was wearing a red dress accompanied by her friends, looking so beautiful!
The phone conversation
We were chatting online, then one day on new year my cousin which is also her relative got to know the news that we were chatting with each other as she used to always-on phone typing something, so she tried to peep into her phone and she found out that two of us were chatting.
Now it was the time of New year night when I called my cousin to wish Happy new year, as she also lives in the same house I got the chance to wish her too first time on the phone, I remember we talked and I liked her voice it was very sweet, we talked for 30 minutes and she told me things about her friends who would approach me and how I should beware of them as she was in a girl’s school. We talked about different things and we exchanged our numbers. Earlier I wasn’t that serious about the relationship but as we started talking more, I started to like her, all her good and bad habits, her favourite colours, everything kind of grasped my mind and always I was waiting to connect with her and talk to her.
Till now, we were intimate friends, friends who share all their feelings with each other and we didn’t stress too much on the relationship, slowly we started talking for hours in the day and at night too till I or she any one of us not fall asleep
There was a shopkeeper who recharges my mobile phone and he knows my family members, at starting I used to visit once in a day but later on, started visiting him thrice sometimes and he would wonder what would a schoolboy of this tender age need to recharge his phone this many times in a day for, I also was afraid that maybe he would someday open these things to my elder brother, but then talking to her was more important than these things.
When I was in school too I used to wait for the school to end and my chance to talk to her, I was fully overtaken by a strange feeling in my stomach and I felt good while talking to her, wasn’t really thought of love at that time but slowly I started to feel that maybe it’s love!
The Proposal
This was the time when we used to talk almost every time, I don’t know why she stated to as “bro” that day, that day I couldn’t control my self and I told her clearly I am not your bro, maybe she wanted that to come out of my mouth so she played the trick. That day I determined that now it’s too much I would express that I really like her and maybe I am in love and so I decided I will tell her tomorrow
That day I was having these thoughts that maybe if I told her she would behave differently but somehow I need to tell and while talking I said the word in between somewhere the talks that I Love You!, Yes I have done and now it’s on her to agree upon that. I started feeling strange feeling after that and I thought maybe it wasn’t right and she told me that she too was feeling a strange feeling, so I told her to take her time and then reply back decide even if it is Yes or No, just let me know!
Next day she called and she told that maybe she also loves me, and so this is how it all started, I am in a relationship with a girl whom I haven’t met yet!
The relative factor
One of the worst things in India is when you fall in love and want to lead your life in your way and with the person of your choice, It is a great fight that you need to do before you could claim your relationship in front of all.
So we were talking and we used to imagine that when we will meet how we will treat each other when we get married how would we live and she used to say we would live in different rooms but I was adamant that we will live in the single room, this is how innocent we were.
Now while everything looked great, suddenly her family members got to know about our relationship and some of mine too, that day I realised people in society try to suppress the love between two people and that’s why arrange marriage is popular here, also somewhere it was justified because we were very young.
So one day her uncle who was also my relative called me and said that you need to stay away from her or you know who I am. I was small and kind of a kid who was kept in fear in his home too by his father so I was not prepared to rebel and accepted it, In the fear,I started to not pick her call as all the family members were always keeping an eye on me and making sure that we don’t talk. My mother even kept my phone with her for a day. Even my father have known that one day and he scolded me badly not directly but because I wasn’t going to school that day but I could feel the reason for the intensity of anger, he commanded me to walk to your school and nobody will help, which was 4 km away but my elder brother came to my help he tried to be empathetic with me and made me understand the things
As she was also understanding the situation she sent a voice note that maybe our family members didn’t want it and you are not picking the call so we should break-up and She said I deserve a better girl, but I was pretty fearful when I was young and because of which we don’t talk for at least 4 months.
Realisation
I realised slowly that it’s not their right to stop us as we were not doing anything wrong., we are just in love and we should not fell guilty about it. That the I found her blocked facebook account reopened as I couldn’t call her, her phone was with her mother. I messaged her on facebook and we had a chat about all the things that we have gone through and how the news got to the family members, and we started talking again but now we were hiding as again if they caught us maybe they could take our phones and we were dependent on them, we couldn’t do anything. I was caught twice but gave lame reasons that by mistake I called and I was trying to call someone else and somehow it got connected to her and my family members agreed by my reasons. So, we were talking again, now there were fights and happiness but we enjoyed every moment
The Gap
Now my father decided to change my place and get me admitted to a boarding school, which allowed only one phone call a week that too to our family member only, I was allowed only to come out of that place once in 2 months, sometimes my father was also irritated by this kind of strictness but I need to manage.
This created a gap between us, we would not talk once in two months, I was reaching adolescence and my thoughts started to get influenced by the atmosphere there. That place was full of people who didn’t had any way to express themselves as beside school we were not allowed to visit anywhere, we were locked in that building and was only allowed 1 hour for sports activity. So every person was doing strange things, stealing food, throwing sleepers for fun, beating juniors for no reasons. beating anyone by covering with a bedsheet, stealing even underwears and I got pretty irritated, my behaviour changed and because of which I started talking in rude tone with people and with her too, as everybody would boast of a girlfriend I too would, I made my senior to act as me for 5 minutes as he wanted to talk to my girlfriend, I duped her and he was talking for those 5 minutes to her, and I am guilty for that today too (when we were on a trip), We got a chance to talk on a trip and I behave very badly with her as I accepted it as a norm in Hostel.
The Judgement day
So after getting irritated, was out and was living in a room outside, I tried contacting her, she talked to me but just another day she told me that it’s not working out between us and I knew the reason for that and I wanted to explain all the circumstances to her but this ego this ruined everything, She told me and I in my ego told her ok despite saying that maybe I was wrong and I wanted to clear out things. She asked me whether we can be friends and I rejected because I believed it was not possible for us to stay friends and we ended that day. Later on I ignored my ego and called her and made lame reasons to call, I asked her the reason to break up, she said just because you have changed!, and It has been 5 years still I try to contact her, she doesn’t want to talk, she even blocked me. So maybe that day if I was not egoistic I could have saved this relationship, but maybe someday I will meet her and tell her all the feeling
She lives far away from my city
This is How I was in a relationship with the girl I haven’t met till now!
Chai with Shar 